Is this my better place?

“Annie said she wouldn’t mind
If they never find a cure to all her problems
Her problems and she said
As long as she had someone near
To make it clear, she doesn’t need to solve them…”

The song A Better Place, A Better Time by Streetlight Manifesto has been one of my favourite songs since high school. I recently found an acoustic version by the lead singer, Toh Kay, that just makes my heart hurt. The original has trumpets and has a happy back ground to the lyrics that tell of a girl named Annie’s struggle with suicidal thoughts. In the acoustic version, I feel like the words just hit you harder. You don’t have that happy-go-lucky soundtrack in the background.

The lyrics listed at the very beginning are my favourite in the song. You can barely hear them in the original version, but in the acoustic version they’re loud and clear. This is me. I don’t want a cure, I don’t need a cure… I know that there isn’t really a cure. That my struggle with my anxiety and maybe depression and just the general human experience aren’t things on someone’s to-do list to fix. Rather, I’d love for someone to just talk to about it. To just let me know that it’s okay to not be okay. That they’ll stick it out with me even when times get tough. I don’t need to ever be “fixed”.

I’m okay the way I am.

South Dakota has some lovely aspects to it, that I cannot deny. One thing I could do without is the not knowing what to do with mental health. I feel like every time I bring it up, someone makes an awkward joke about it and changes the subject, or they just shrivel up.

I don’t want it to be this way anymore.

I just want someone to tell me that it’s going to be okay.

And that I don’t have to solve all of my problems.

Especially not on my own.

 

Genuinely,
Carrie

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