When you find your person, never let them go. You may ask “But how do I know if I’ve found ‘my person’?”
You’ll know that you’ve found your person when every time you see them it’s just like a breath of fresh air. They’re brutally honest with you, but you know that they say everything with so much love. They’ll remind you of who you are when you begin to lose yourself. They’ll remind you that who you are is worth loving. They’ll see your flaws and acknowledge them, but they’ll help you through them and love you even if you never get fully through them. They’ll listen to you as you sort out your life and genuinely help you sort it out with you. They’ll let you ramble as you figure it out, and they won’t rush you through it. They’ll know you better than anyone else. They’ll want to see you as much as you want to see them. You’ll be able to go weeks or even months without talking to them, but you’ll quietly know that your love for them and their love for you is still just as strong.
These are just a few of the ways you can know that you’ve found “your person”. Be careful, you may have already found them and not have even known it. This past summer, I had a friend talking about their person, and I was saddened by the fact that I didn’t have one. I mean, I had just moved and was starting over so I didn’t feel like I had anyone really. I’ve always figured that when I move, I start over. I leave people from the last place behind. It’s just a new phase in my life, no need to get nostalgic.
But I didn’t realize at the time what I was so willing to throw away. And I am forever grateful that she didn’t give up on me.
My person’s name is Andrea. She is everything I could have asked for in a best friend. Best friend is a term that I don’t think even begins to cover who she is to me. She’s been with me through it all and loved me through it. She saw my darkest depression and the days when I couldn’t even leave the dorm room. She helped me go through my first rough break up. She saw me off on my first date after the break up. She’s helped me write papers, get over issues with my dad, sort through anything that’s on my brain, figure out what I want to eat, and just… Everything.
This past weekend, she flew all the way from Waterloo, Ontario to come visit me. This person that I had gone to visit on my way to my mom, but had never really made true and real time to go to see her. To be honest, I think I was scared (and still am slightly). I texted my mom about this before she got here. I’m scared that I’m going to see her and it’s going to be nothing like it was. We’re going to have nothing to talk about and I’m going to lose her in that way, rather than just silently drifting apart. I’m so scared of not being what she needs anymore or that we just change too much or she just decides that I’m not good enough. I have abandonment issues, and that’s obvious.
But she got off the plane and we hugged for so long. On the way back, there wasn’t a silent moment. That night, she remembered and made sure that there were string lights on while we slept because she remembered that I didn’t like the dark. She remembered little things about me and loved to learn things that I started liking since I had moved. She learned how to swing dance and tried midwestern foods. She remembered that I liked mayo with my fries and called me out on it when I said I didn’t do it anymore because I didn’t know what people here would think of me.
She takes my personality quizzes and listens to me as I consider what I’ll do next year. As I tell her that I’m considering changing places and schools once again, she teases me for a few moments, but then reassures me and tells me that I’ll get it one day. And when I do, I’ll be great at it. She loves me in a way that I’m not sure anyone else can. She sees my klutziness and my rambling and stuttering as endearing, and as reasons to love me. Rather than as reasons to look at me with confusion. She calls me out when I act stupider than I am. She understands (or at least tries to) my problems with people and myself. She’s taught me so much about friendship, and that sticking to a friendship you love despite difference is not a sign of weakness or a sign of not being okay where you are. Rather, some people are just worth sticking around for.
I am so so so thankful for the person known as Andrea. I am so glad that she is mine. She is unashamedly her. She dreams big, but knows how to get stuff done. She is one of the kindest people with the best laugh. There is no one that doesn’t like Andrea. To think that we were just randomly put as roommates in first year.
I will forever be thankful for her. Appreciate those you have around you as I wish I would have appreciated her before I moved.